Nostalgic day

It's a lump-in-your-throat kind of day for me. It's the silly small things that grip my heart and make me nostalgic. Today is the boy's last day of school. It's not like he doesn't have many more years ahead of him and it's just preschool, but still. I have been a bit sad this week and even teared up as I dropped him off today. Nutcase - I know! Preschool has just been so good for our boy. He has grown so much. He cried for the first month I think, and now he asks to go almost every day. He is more social. He has learned things. He is a little boy now, not the baby I dropped off 9 months ago. His teachers have been amazing - I will greatly miss them. I know there will be other great teachers in his life, but these are the first regular outside (meaning we don't know them) influences he's had. I couldn't have asked for two better women. Here is a picture I took this morning...one year down, countless more to go! Heaven help me on his last day of high school!

One benefit to a small child - wearing clothes over and over. The girl wore this outfit for the first time last July and it still fits (note that it says it's 3-6 months)!


Don't you love her pose this morning? She was workin' it - pouty face and all!




The girl is fascinated by our singing rocking horse. She figured out how to make it sing herself today and she was quite enthralled. She makes the funniest face when she says please - and I caught it today. I was most amazed that she stayed in this squatting position for so long - my thighs would have been burning!











We brought home Clay's cars from childhood this weekend. Both kids love playing with cars, and the boy is all excited about his new cars. Clay has a blast reliving his childhood as they all play together. Nothing warms a mama's heart more than to see the three people she loves the most enjoying being together.

Road trip

We spent the Memorial Day weekend with Mimi, Grandaddy and Aunt Claire. It was our first road trip involving illness - both kids - and that made for quite an eventful few days. The kids enjoyed the stairs, two different parks - one with ducks and a pond, a walk around the neighborhood, and simply being loved on. We got to enjoy time with Uncle Robert, Aunt Virginia, Clay's best friend, my favorite restaurant, and plenty of Phase 10. It was good to be with family we don't see often enough - and we get to see them again in about 6 weeks!



Mimi & Grandaddy bought a fun sprinkler toy to help beat the heat. The kids were a bit unsure of it at first (the water was quite chilly); but once the boy got to control it, he had the time of his life! I only have a few pictures of the weekend, but Aunt Claire (an amazing photographer) got a LOT more of our weekend. I'll share them as soon as I get them (how's that for a little nudge, Claire?)!!!



A highlight of the weekend was getting to see one of my dearest friends. We hadn't seen each other in almost 5 years. It was a joy to meet her boys and visit while we played at the park. I am thankful for friendships that sustain distance and time. Aren't her boys adorable? Gotta love the eldest's hair - which he adorably tells you is orange. The youngest is a mere 7 weeks old. It was a quick (and hot!) visit, but such a joy!

Hurting heart

My heart has been hurting for the Chapman family since my sister called last night with the news that Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter died yesterday. She was hit by a car (driven by one of her brothers) in their driveway. (AP News Story Link)

After a challenging day with my kids, I held the girl tighter as she fought sleep thanks to illness. I kissed the boy a few more times than normal when I checked on him before crawling in to bed. I can't imagine what the parents are feeling. I can't imagine what the brother is feeling. I just hurt for them...and am greatly reminded that no one (even those with fame, money and ministry) are exempt from the pain life can bring.

Last night my frustration from the day turned to thankfulness that I get to have those frustrations. I could kick myself for forgetting how long we waited to have a child and how I often begged God for a child regardless what challenges they may bring. I simply wanted a child. The call from my sister with this news sobered me to reality. Not only did God give me the desire of my heart - He gave me TWO!

Pray for the Chapman's as they begin this new journey - life without Maria.

Release

Can I vent for a moment? (Not that you really have a choice...)

On a positive note - both of my children are sleeping. If you only knew how rare this is these days you would understand my joy. So instead of making the most of this time without toddlers, I am catching up on blogs and basically wasting time. Recently a friend shared that blogging is my hobby (I apparently mistakenly said I didn't have any hobbies to which she greatly disagreed), and that has been quite freeing for me. Reading and posting truly are an outlet for me. In this world I am energized, encouraged, and inspired. It is something I do for me (well, and some of you too) and it is nice to take time for just such a thing. Now, yes, I can get obsessed and tunnel-visioned some days, but don't we all have something like that in our lives? I find myself often composing a post in my mind, and thankfully many of those never see the light of day. Sometimes I wonder who is reading and I wonder if you want more of something (probably not pictures) or less of something, but sometimes I kind of like not having readers that weigh in on everything I do (except the lovable Abby who is always so encouraging! Keep 'em coming - at least I know someone is reading).

Anyway, I digress. Today has mostly been a day of frustration. Silly frustrations, but it's just one of those days, you know? Frustration that the boy woke up as early as he did. Frustration that my toe is still blue/black/purple from running into the door frame the other night. Frustration that my house is in the condition it is (and yet, I sit here and blog). Frustration that my daughter woke up unhappy. Frustration that I'm not on top of my game - I forgot I was teaching the 1-year-olds today at church! Frustration that a dream from last week won't stop plaguing me. Frustration at my lack of trust and forgiveness. Frustration that I'm not more motivated to do something about the lingering 5-10 lbs. from baby #2. Frustration that the girl has a low-grade fever. Frustration that the boy gets turned sideways right now if he thinks I am leaving. Frustration that I love Sonic so much that I easily find a reason for us to get it (oh, but I enjoy every bite). Frustration that the fries were stale. Frustration that the boy fights naps so hard. Frustration at the to-do list around here. Frustration that I have become lazy. Frustration that laundry had to be done today - and I was told about it this afternoon. Frustration...mostly simple, silly frustrations with normal, everyday life that in the grand scheme of things are petty and unimportant. And then I get frustrated at myself for getting so frustrated over such things.

See why the song I posted earlier struck such a chord with me? I need Him to be my everything. God in my living. There in my breathing. In each and every moment - in each and every thing - God, please be my everything. Teach me to see you as my everything.

My prayer

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

(music/lyrics by Tim Hughes)

Birthday bounce house fun

We celebrated one of our best bud's 4th birthday Saturday morning at our favorite bounce house location. Daddy got to go with us this time, and I think he had more fun than anyone! I must say it is quite comical to watch a bunch of men in their 30s racing through the obstacle course, but it does melt the heart to watch those same men go down the slide one more time with their child in their lap. The birthday parties are getting crazier each year, but what a blessing to be able to celebrate each one!









The girl, our normal daredevil, wasn't too enthused.

Here is the love of the boy's life. Isn't she beautiful? She seems to be pretty infatuated with him and is often found dragging him around by the arm (see picture on far left). He is amazingly tolerant of this - but only with her.




Cake is always the best part for our kids. The girl could barely see above the table so I helped her out a bit. The boy LOVES him some icing and will gladly ignore the presents and the other children leaving to go play some more just to finish his piece. Gotta love his "lipstick!"



Saturday night we were visited by two mallards. They were simply hanging out in our front yard. The kids were quite taken with them. You can see them fleeing here as the boy ran toward them screaming, "Duck!" A male and female, they were absolutely beautiful.

Makin' me laugh

I caught a couple of laughter moments on camera this week, and they are too funny not to share...warning: bodily functions are discussed!

The girl popped in the potty on Tuesday! I'm thinking it may be partially a fluke, but I'm excited none-the-less. The kids and I were playing with play dough when the girl looked at me, pointed to her diaper and said, "poo." I had been watching her strain so I simply thought she was telling that she had already gone. She pitched a royal fit when I laid her down to change her diaper, and I realized she hadn't gone. I asked if she wanted to go potty, and she got all excited. I put her on the potty and watched her almost fall in until she realized she could lean back. Next thing I know, she's pooping! She was so excited. I had already bought her a little potty to sit on while the boy goes potty (mainly to keep her out of his way), but she really wants nothing to do with that one. She looks too funny sitting on the regular potty - she is just so wee!

Speaking of wee, she had her 15-month checkup today; and her smallness continues to be confirmed. She weighs 18 lbs. 7 oz. which places her below the weight chart for her age! She is 28 3/4 inches long which is the 45%. She definitely makes up for her size in attitude though. My mom pulled my baby book, and the girl is basically the size I was at 18 months so it definitely runs in the family.


Nap times are still hit or miss with the boy, but I do make him rest in his room for a bit. Some days I free him from captivity and let him watch Cars while laying on his Lighting McQueen pillow. I just about fell off the couch when I looked over and caught him in this position. It must be ingrained in the male DNA to put your hand down your pants while watching TV. He's not even 3!!!

9 years

9 years ago today I donned a beautiful handmade-just-for-me dress, kissed my daddy for the last time bearing his name, and walked down the aisle of my childhood church to the man who had asked me to take his.

I remember most of that day with extreme clarity: we had perfect weather, brunch with the girls given by two amazing women, running into Clay at the hotel when I dropped the girls off, maneuvering around a town parade to get to Connie for my up-do, Connie stressing because my hair had grown more than expected since my bridals, me calming Mother down as we sped to the church, having a few moments alone with my mother and sister getting ready before everyone else arrived, Daddy coming into the room all choked up asking for one last family hug, the butterflies before I walked down to Clay, Clay's face as I walked toward him, my cousins walking into the sanctuary while Clay and I were taking a few moments alone before we started pictures, posing and smiling, feeling beautiful, the grooms men's reactions when they saw me, my bridesmaids finding way too many uses for the scarves that came with their dresses, friends arriving from IN just to support Clay, watching all the attendants eating messy snacks, being surrounded by my gals in prayer before the service, the lump in my throat as I walked down to Daddy, Daddy's silly joke to get me laughing before we walked down the aisle, the complete peace I felt about what we were doing, Mother's face as I walked down the aisle, Dad's words when he gave me away, Jeff's short charge, talking about what kind of kiss after we finished praying (Suzanne was still singing), spilling wax all over our hands when lighting the unity candle, walking out of the church married, hiding upstairs while everyone left for the reception, riding through town in the convertible (we got lots of looks and honks), dancing for the first time as husband and wife, dancing with my daddy, lots of dancing and visiting with friends, Clay twirling all the women at the reception, being serenaded by all the men, saying good-bye to our families, running out to the car only to find Kevin saran-wrapped to the trunk, waiting for Clay to cut through the saran wrap and find the keys to our car all the while getting pelted with birdseed, and finally driving away - just the two of us to begin our life together.

9 years later, I love this man more than I knew was possible. He is the perfect man for me. He calms my dramatic side, he challenges me to be more open, he makes me laugh, he loves to learn, he is tender, he is wise, he is patient. He isn't perfect, but he gives me and our children everything he has. These 9 years have held joy, hurt, laughter, pain, questions, loneliness, fulfillment, apologies, forgiveness, compromise, acceptance, uncertainty, and security. I can't think of any greater gift from God - to walk through life with your best friend. It's been an amazing adventure, and I look forward to the years to come.

Clay, thank you for being the man you are and striving to be the man God desires you to be. I love you.

The first face plant - with proof

***UPDATE: These pictures don't really do the injury justice. It looks even more impressive today (Friday) now that a bruise has formed behind the scrape on her head and we can see the full extent of the cuts on her nose and just below. Clay would appreciate me noting that if I had remembered the stroller wasn't in the car before we left the house, this would never have happened!

The girl got her first face injury tonight. While playing in the parking lot of a car dealership (we're testing out minivans - I know, we are old), she lost her balance. Instead of simply catching herself with her hands as usual, a slight decline rolled her on to her face. She wailed LOUDLY (aka why we call her a drama queen), but was fine by the time I arrived back from the test drive. Daddy felt horrible that her first bloody face happened on his watch, but better him than me! She was fine until I tried to really clean it when we got home (these pictures were taken prior to that cleaning). It really could have been so much worse.
I figure this isn't our last facial abrasion...she's quite the adventurous one without any true understanding of depth. She's still quite cute though, isn't she?

A few random pics

The girl and I had the joy of having Lauren over to play Tuesday morning while their elder siblings were in school. The girls were snacking and definitely camera worthy! I had to post both pics I took because I find it too funny that my gal blocked her face in the first one!
You can also tell how wee the girl is - there is only 7 months difference between these two gals! The girl LOVES Lauren...and it's thanks to her that the girl has an attachment to a blanket (last time Lauren came to play she carried her pink blanket everywhere she went...and the girl imitated appropriately and it stuck!).







Yes, I know this picture is fuzzy, but it is the only one I took - and I had to show the boy in pink socks! We had playgroup at a local indoor bounce house place, and the boy had a grand time. However, I forgot to bring socks so we borrowed a pair from Lauren - and of course they were pink! Abby saved us so the boy could play...and play he did. He figured out how to climb the tallest slide without help and could have cared less where I was unless he wanted a drink. The girl was less than thrilled this time so we hung out on stable ground. You would think after almost 2 hours of bouncing he would have taken a nap, but alas he did not.

One Heartbeat at a Time

It's been a few hard parenting weeks. I've felt beaten down more days than I've felt victory or even felt okay about how I handled the day. My biggest fault has been attempting to do it within my own strength and wisdom. How feeble and insufficient those are! God has made me keenly aware of what happens when I take things into my own hands, and the picture hasn't been one I want to see again. No, the last 2 days haven't been all roses and sugar plums; but I have been more peaceful internally because I've given my day to God before my feet even hit the floor and then repeated that release as many times during the day as needed.

God gave me a wonderful gift through a song on the way to get the boy from school today. I've had this new Steven Curtis Chapman CD for about 2 weeks, but have failed to truly hear this song until today. What I do does matter. What all mothers do matters.

(You can find the song on my playlist below if you would like to listen).

One Heartbeat At a Time
Written by Steven Curtis Chapman

You're up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are

So you fall in bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Well maybe you just don't know
Or maybe you've forgotten

That you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every, "I know you can do it"
And every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They're just like the drops of rain
Over time, they become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You're beautiful, so beautiful
How you're changing the world, yeah you're changing the world

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
I believe that you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

Changes

I needed a change (I know, I said I don't like change - see previous post for clarification - and what do I do? I go and change something! This, however, was a small, easy change...this kind of change helps fool me into thinking I'm flexible!), and the blog was the victim. I was a little purpled out - perhaps I'm not feeling as girly as I was a few months ago. "Green?" you ask. Maybe spring or maybe I'm a bit minty today. Who knows. It was the color that struck me most. We'll see how long before it bugs me.

I also changed how I list my blog links - separated into those I actually know, those I don't, and ministry links. There are some new links that I encourage you to check out, and I will probably add more in the coming days.

I know these were crucial items to share, but guess I felt compelled to explain myself and help anyone who can't find their favorite link.

Confessions

Stemming from various blogs I read, I began pondering what strange facts about myself I might reveal if so asked. After compiling a mental list, I thought I would share for your amusement and to give some of you more things about me to mock. Some of these aren't news to those who know me well, but I realize there might be a mere acquaintance who hasn't had the joy of experiencing my idiosyncrasies. I'm sure some of you could add to this list - and part of me dares you to do so! In no particular order:

1. I like to shred things. I think we are on our 3rd or 4th shredder in just a few years. If anything comes into our house with our name on it, 99% sure it's getting shredded.

2. I eat one thing at a time on my plate from least favorite to favorite. This stems from the need to clean my plate and knowing that if I eat what I like least first, the things I like will quickly take the nasty taste away. I often eat my hamburgers edges first so the moist center is the last bite I take. And my food shouldn't touch...if it does, I simply eat up to the point where it mixed.

3. I am not a big fan of change. That's why having children has rocked my world. Just when I get into a rhythm, they up and change the program!

4. I am a neat freak, but I have my hidden places of complete disorder (kind of like Monica on Friends). And neat doesn't necessarily mean clean. I like a clean house and will often go overboard once I start cleaning, but simply being picked up is fine with me.

5. Most of the time I'd much rather do something myself because I know it will get done the way I like it. (So I guess I can be a control freak too.)

6. I would call myself a fad eater - I get on a kick of something, eat it almost constantly and then all of the sudden could care less about it. Not that I won't partake of it again, but it is rarely with the same intensity that once existed. I will say that some items come back, but again often not with the initial love. Eating fads can last anywhere from a week to years. For example: Early in my life the only thing I wanted to eat was grits, but now they don't do a thing for me. For most of my childhood years, I LOVED bologna cups (if you put a piece of bologna in the microwave and heat it up, it flips up like a bowl). That was often my snack of choice - now, I can't stand bologna. The list goes on: Nacho cheese Doritos, Slim Jim, various cereals, french fries, Spaghetti O's, various candy bars, gum, cheese sticks...

7. I like to cuddle with a pillow when I fall asleep - and it's best if this is not the pillow my head is on.

8. I hate drama, but I am pretty much a drama queen. And now I have a daughter whose following in my footsteps. Heaven help me - drama wears me out.

9. I can get easily hooked into reality TV even though I think most of the shows are absolutely ridiculous (have you heard about Farmer Wants a Wife?). If I watch one episode though, I often end up addicted. I will say that Super Nanny makes me feel like a decent mom, though. Currently I watch Dancing with the Stars, The Bachelor (this is one of those that I watched one episode - and not even the first one - when Clay was out one night), Super Nanny and Survivor. I will tune in to Jon and Kate Plus 8 reruns late at night if I can't sleep.

10. I can easily get lost (and love to do so) in a novel. I prefer Christian suspense with a little bit of romance on the side (love Terri Blackstock!). The characters become like family and I can hardly stand to wait and see what happens. I have been known to share details about these people with Clay like they are friends down the street. Unfortunately, with the two kids, I haven't read a novel in a while...I can't guarantee I'll be able to finish it within a few days so I'd almost rather not start. Yes, I get a little obsessed.

11. I shave my legs every day - even in the dead of winter. The only exception is if I don't shower which is something I prefer to do every day. On that note, I must brush my teeth before showering or I don't feel clean. Strange, I know.

12. Sometimes I still have to pause when asked about my right or left. I'm not that great when giving directions either. When we moved into our house, I told everyone to turn left onto our street. Problem is that you can only turn right when coming from that way.

13. I have a tendency to play with my nails either with my other fingers or my teeth. If one breaks, I have to take care of any sharp edges right away. You would think I would carry a nail file, but I don't.

14. I don't like people to touch my feet with the exception of my husband and my mother. I have allowed one other friend to give me a few pedicures, but that took a lot of prodding from her to get me to concede. I got one salon pedi with her too, but that is something I am fine to never experience again.

15. When sleeping, I like to be under some kind of cover even if it is a simple sheet. It can be 100+ degrees outside, but I will be under something if I nap.

The list could go on I'm sure (like I don't like hot drinks of any kind), but I figure you might be a bit concerned about me by now. Before you give me too much grief, think about your own crazy things...and I bet you aren't all that "normal" either. I have a friend who fears hitting a deer and getting kicked to death after it comes through her windshield; and it just goes to show we all are a little weird! What are some of your quirks? If you choose to share your list with the world, let me know. Stand tall and proud - after you pick yourself up off the floor laughing at me and my friend. (Love you, Ab!!!)

**For more normal posts, see the last few entries about our fun-filled weekend.

A Sunday morning

With the departure of the paci, earlier mornings have graced our home. After seeing a late movie with friends the night before, I was NOT ready to greet the day at 6:30 a.m. Sunday. The boy ate breakfast while I snuggled under a blanket on the sofa watching the news. I turned on Little Einsteins when I went to get a shower, and this is how I found the boy when I got out. He's never been much of one for covers - so this really warmed my heart.




Here's the girl in another outfit Mimi bought for her. I LOVE this dress. The girl looks great in purple and the caterpillars are adorable. She even kept the bow in - at least for a bit. Best part about this dress - she'll be able to wear it for a while thanks to her small stature and warm temps in Texas like 9 months of the year.

An update on life without paci - we've conquered the nights! Last week I took the boy to get a new nighttime friend since paci had to go away. He chose Rocket from Little Einsteins, and that seems to have done the trick. There is little to no fuss while falling asleep and he's sleeping through the night. The mornings are a bit earlier, but manageable. Naps are still a battle, but he's getting more comfortable playing quietly in his room. While some days/nights have been long, the overall war wasn't as brutal as I anticipated. Although he fought long and hard Sunday afternoon, the nap finally won!

Celebrating with friends

Thursday night (the official birthday), we gathered with my gaggle of gals and their families. We had the joy of almost all being together (Meghan, you guys were missed! And one dad stayed home with a sick little girl). Jodi and her family flew in for the weekend. I like to think it was solely because of my birthday, but I know they had a lot of other people to see and a new addition to show off. It's a bit chaotic when we all get together, but there is a lot of laughter. Abby and her family graciously opened their home to host us all. They have a fabulous backyard that thrills the kids and adults. It was a great night - and a great way to spend my birthday. Here are just a few shots of our fun (I've only used names of those who parents use them on their blogs):

Emma

Abby Penn.

our girl

Our girl loves going up slides!

The boy LOVES playing at Abby's house.

Bethany

Jodi's youngest

Our kiddos

Emma and her best buddy

Emma and our boy hugging

Lauren and our boy swinging fun


Our girl tuckered out pretty early, but Daddy's arms, her blanket and her paci helped keep her happy!

These girls are such a blessing to me. They encourage me, challenge me, and simply love me. They pretty much know the good, the bad, and the ugly of me - and they still choose to love me and have me in their lives. I am forever grateful God brought us together.