Release

Can I vent for a moment? (Not that you really have a choice...)

On a positive note - both of my children are sleeping. If you only knew how rare this is these days you would understand my joy. So instead of making the most of this time without toddlers, I am catching up on blogs and basically wasting time. Recently a friend shared that blogging is my hobby (I apparently mistakenly said I didn't have any hobbies to which she greatly disagreed), and that has been quite freeing for me. Reading and posting truly are an outlet for me. In this world I am energized, encouraged, and inspired. It is something I do for me (well, and some of you too) and it is nice to take time for just such a thing. Now, yes, I can get obsessed and tunnel-visioned some days, but don't we all have something like that in our lives? I find myself often composing a post in my mind, and thankfully many of those never see the light of day. Sometimes I wonder who is reading and I wonder if you want more of something (probably not pictures) or less of something, but sometimes I kind of like not having readers that weigh in on everything I do (except the lovable Abby who is always so encouraging! Keep 'em coming - at least I know someone is reading).

Anyway, I digress. Today has mostly been a day of frustration. Silly frustrations, but it's just one of those days, you know? Frustration that the boy woke up as early as he did. Frustration that my toe is still blue/black/purple from running into the door frame the other night. Frustration that my house is in the condition it is (and yet, I sit here and blog). Frustration that my daughter woke up unhappy. Frustration that I'm not on top of my game - I forgot I was teaching the 1-year-olds today at church! Frustration that a dream from last week won't stop plaguing me. Frustration at my lack of trust and forgiveness. Frustration that I'm not more motivated to do something about the lingering 5-10 lbs. from baby #2. Frustration that the girl has a low-grade fever. Frustration that the boy gets turned sideways right now if he thinks I am leaving. Frustration that I love Sonic so much that I easily find a reason for us to get it (oh, but I enjoy every bite). Frustration that the fries were stale. Frustration that the boy fights naps so hard. Frustration at the to-do list around here. Frustration that I have become lazy. Frustration that laundry had to be done today - and I was told about it this afternoon. Frustration...mostly simple, silly frustrations with normal, everyday life that in the grand scheme of things are petty and unimportant. And then I get frustrated at myself for getting so frustrated over such things.

See why the song I posted earlier struck such a chord with me? I need Him to be my everything. God in my living. There in my breathing. In each and every moment - in each and every thing - God, please be my everything. Teach me to see you as my everything.