Labor Day weekend

Labor Day weekend was full of fun for us. Aunt Claire took so many great pictures I decided they deserved a post all their own. The TN crew loved on Miss McK and played hard with Big J and Miss E. We also played a lot of Guitar Hero thanks to some friends who let us borrow it while they were out of town. It was a great weekend, and we have lots of pictures to capture the fun!

Sept. picture catch up

I know - the blog has suffered at the hands of raising 3 kids and starting a new business. I don't have time to revisit everything so here is September in pictures. The month began with a visit from Mimi, Grandaddy, and Aunt Claire (in the next post). We also had dinner with friends (the Boergers) and played a lot. Enjoy experiencing it all through pictures!

Raising myself

Well, I wrote a post about what I'm learning from each of the other two kids, so I feel it's only fair to talk about the middle child...the diva herself, Miss E. In so many ways, I feel like I'm raising myself (God bless my parents). From what they tell me, she is me from 30 years ago.

She is so tiny it's easy to forget she's 2 1/2. She has the tiniest voice (VERY unlike me) that is just too adorable except it's heard ALL THE TIME! It's almost just background noise to my entire day - until we get around people she doesn't know. She has big doe eyes that melt your heart, and she is still a cuddler. BUT she has a little (and some days BIG) bit of devil in her. When she doesn't want to do what you ask, she gets this wild look and produces a scream that has to originate in her toes. She is a master pouter and drama queen. It can make it hard to discipline because it just cracks me up.

Man, do I see myself in her. The rest of the world may not see those kinds of reactions, but I know that I am very capable of throwing award-winning fits myself. I can wallow with the best of them and make a mountain out of a molehill. Watching Miss E allows me to see how ridiculous it is to throw such fits even if they are internal. In the end, there are certain things that have to be done regardless if we like them or not. Life is a lot easier, and I can get back to what I want to do sooner, if I just suck it up and get on with it.

Nothing monumental or news to me (I've known I'm good at this for a long time), but it is something when you get to see yourself in a "mirror."

(One of our regular points of contention is her hair. It's long and adorable...and all over the place. She isn't much for sitting still while I fix it. Today of all days, she kindly stayed still so I could put it in a ponytail AND braid it! She was so proud. I'm hoping it will help convince her to let me do something with it instead of looking like such a wild child!)

Lessons from a newborn

She's only 2 months old today, but I've already learned so much from her. I've heard it before and said it myself that you learn a lot about God when you become a parent. It's been true with my first 2 kids. I have a greater understanding of His sacrifice, of His love, of His discipline, and of His desires for me. I've come face to face with it all again as well as with my own heart and response to God as I've mothered our newest addition these last 2 months.

She's been quite vocal - crying and fighting a lot. It's not as bad as it was with Miss E, but she's definitely gotten a reputation for it. There are so many times I've just pleaded with her to relax and rest in my arms. I've begged her to trust that I know what I'm doing - I am not leaving her to die or starve or rot in her poop. I even made up a little song one day:

Let it go muscle by muscle
Let it go, give it over to God
Let it go, let it go, let it go
Let it go and leave it with God

Not Dove award material, but as I sang it that first day I realized there is a lot in my own life that I need to let go and give to God. I've been fretting over finances, over navigating the road of my parents' divorce, over parenting, over how to best support my spouse in his new career, and more. How often am I like Miss McK? I wonder how often God is holding me tightly wishing I would just hush and realize He has me in His arms. I wonder how many times He's simply shaking His head longing for me to trust His judgment. He has never left me to die or starve or rot in my poop. He has always been faithful. He has not changed. He is no less God today than He was the day He blessed us with pregnancy against the medical odds. He is no less God than the day Clay got his job at Lockheed. He is no less God than the day He saved me from my own demise. He is the same God that raised Jesus from the dead, parted the Red Sea, and simply SPOKE the world into being.

HE IS THE SAME GOD.

If only I would hush my crying/screaming about how unfair life can be long enough to realize He is still right here holding me, I know I wouldn't be so exhausted and possibly missing out on the blessings He has waiting for me.

Musings

The last 18+ months have been absolutely insane. Just when I would think the worst was over and we could get back to "normalcy" (whatever that is), another storm/avalanche/blind side would come. It's been especially intense since the beginning of 2009, but today I was given a clear reminder that gold will come from the fire and ashes. All along God has periodically given us small tokens allowing us to feel His touch and embrace as we weathered the storms, but I easily forget about them when the road feels too long or too steep. I've asked God a lot of questions and been brutally honest when I don't like His way of handling things.

In a simple 20 minute conference today with Big J's Pre-K teacher, God spoke loud and clear that He IS - He IS - working this out for good. See, if Clay was still at Lockheed or had gotten another well-paying gig, Big J would not qualify for the Pre-K program through our school system. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have that financial security, but our boy is getting an amazing foundation for his educational career. You know how much we LOVED our previous preschool. His teachers - and the entire staff really - loved on him in such special ways. They helped us navigate the early days of learning about his challenges. They are amazing. I was so sad he couldn't return, but it was not financially responsible to do so. Little did I know God had something so much better prepared for our boy.

Isn't that the way it usually is? We kick and scream about losing life as we know it or a place or a person; but when the dust settles and we're several pages into the next chapter, we see how much more God desired to give us.

Big J is learning how the school system works, he is learning how to learn in a classroom full of children, he is learning social skills, he is learning to see people and not their color, and he is learning how to encourage. Mrs. Jones praised him left and right today. Yes, there are things to work on (speaking out of turn, holding his crayon correctly, etc.), but he is doing so well. She's already seen such improvement in the first 6 weeks. She's noticed that he learns things quickly and rarely loses anything he's heard. What a gift that will be throughout his life! What blessed my heart most was when she called him the cheerleader of the class. When they are playing games or doing group activities, he is not only excited about his turn, but everyone else's as well. She said it is helping others learn to be proud of their friends - he's an example!

As I drove away, God reminded me that if we weren't in the situation we are in, Big J would not have had this opportunity. I'm not saying everything happened just so he could be in this class, but I know it is one way God is turning an awful situation into something beautiful.

Beauty from ashes.

Video update

For those who've been wanting to send me emails or comments noting my lack of attention to the blog, you can rest assured that my grandmother and mother-in-law are reminding me frequently! It's just so much easier to load pictures to facebook, and my internet time is limited as it is. Hopefully this will make up for it - VIDEOS!!!

Miss McK seems to be settling into a bit of routine these last few days and her crying has decreased. We are all thankful. She was 8 weeks on Sunday and will be 2 months Friday. INSANE!!! I thought I would catch some of her personality that is starting to emerge as she has become observant and responsive to the rest of this crazy clan. Of course the grandparents, aunt, and great-grandmother that live far away will enjoy these most of all...and yes, I know there are a lot of pictures that still need to be posted, but one thing at a time.

(Brenda, the last two are just for you!)

Tiding you over

Mercy, so many things I want to blog about...so many things I long to process...so many pictures to share...so little time. We had a great Labor Day weekend with Clay's family here (TONS of great pictures too). It was the first time we've been with them on Clay's actual birthday in years. Big J is doing well in school, and Miss E is sassy as ever. Miss McK has found her voice and her attitude. She's not quite as laid-back as I longed for her to be, but I'm thankful she's not as noisy as her big sister was! Life has changed quite drastically, and yet, the transition to 3 hasn't been as traumatic as the additions of the first two were. It's only been 5 weeks, and I feel like I'm pretty good at getting us all out the door and maneuvering Wal-Mart without extra hands. I still haven't ventured back to McDonald's alone after that fiasco when Miss McK was just 10 days old, but we'll get there. Anyway, just thought I would drop in and say I haven't totally forgotten about the blog...and share a few pictures to tide you over until I can really focus here for more than 5 minutes. Hope to be back sooner than later...

These pics? The family dressed up for Logo Night at Chick-Fil-A (free sandwich for anyone wearing a team logo - REGARDLESS OF AGE - yeah, we got 5 free sandwiches!); some pictures of Miss McK before, during and after bath time while Clay's family was here; Miss McK sleepin' - she just looks like she's deep in thought or already exasperated with life (or maybe just Mama)!

Better late than never...

So, I totally get why 2nd and especially 3rd kids have fewer pictures in their albums…there’s just no time and there’s a lot more pulling on Mommy’s brain than before. I’ve totally forgotten to take pictures of some important moments already…or of just hanging around. One of those moments was Miss M’s first Sunday to church. I remembered this past week, and honestly she was a lot cuter! Hopefully she’ll not hold it against me when she’s older - or that her big sister wants to be in all the pictures with her!

And make sure to check out my other 2 new posts…LOTS of pictures.

Big J's first day of PreK

Big J started PreK last week. He goes for a few hours every day. Doesn’t he look handsome and so grown up? He’s loving PreK and his teacher, Mrs. Jones. They started the discipline chart this week and we’ve got 4 gold stars! YAY! It’s amazing how much he seems to have grown up overnight.