Musings

The last 18+ months have been absolutely insane. Just when I would think the worst was over and we could get back to "normalcy" (whatever that is), another storm/avalanche/blind side would come. It's been especially intense since the beginning of 2009, but today I was given a clear reminder that gold will come from the fire and ashes. All along God has periodically given us small tokens allowing us to feel His touch and embrace as we weathered the storms, but I easily forget about them when the road feels too long or too steep. I've asked God a lot of questions and been brutally honest when I don't like His way of handling things.

In a simple 20 minute conference today with Big J's Pre-K teacher, God spoke loud and clear that He IS - He IS - working this out for good. See, if Clay was still at Lockheed or had gotten another well-paying gig, Big J would not qualify for the Pre-K program through our school system. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have that financial security, but our boy is getting an amazing foundation for his educational career. You know how much we LOVED our previous preschool. His teachers - and the entire staff really - loved on him in such special ways. They helped us navigate the early days of learning about his challenges. They are amazing. I was so sad he couldn't return, but it was not financially responsible to do so. Little did I know God had something so much better prepared for our boy.

Isn't that the way it usually is? We kick and scream about losing life as we know it or a place or a person; but when the dust settles and we're several pages into the next chapter, we see how much more God desired to give us.

Big J is learning how the school system works, he is learning how to learn in a classroom full of children, he is learning social skills, he is learning to see people and not their color, and he is learning how to encourage. Mrs. Jones praised him left and right today. Yes, there are things to work on (speaking out of turn, holding his crayon correctly, etc.), but he is doing so well. She's already seen such improvement in the first 6 weeks. She's noticed that he learns things quickly and rarely loses anything he's heard. What a gift that will be throughout his life! What blessed my heart most was when she called him the cheerleader of the class. When they are playing games or doing group activities, he is not only excited about his turn, but everyone else's as well. She said it is helping others learn to be proud of their friends - he's an example!

As I drove away, God reminded me that if we weren't in the situation we are in, Big J would not have had this opportunity. I'm not saying everything happened just so he could be in this class, but I know it is one way God is turning an awful situation into something beautiful.

Beauty from ashes.