An impossible love

I watched a little over half of the movie "Because I Said So" with Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, and Lauren Graham last night. It's an interesting look at the mother/daughter relationship - a very appropriate choice for this Mother's Day weekend. Let me quote one of the many monologues by the mother (played by Keaton), Daphne:

"I want you to understand something about motherhood, okay? Okay? It is the most impossible love. You tell me when it ends. You tell me when it stops. All I know is it's absolutely fine for me to teach you how to walk and talk. Then you grow up and you head off in the wrong direction toward a cliff; and I'm supposed to just stand there and wave and go, 'Well, kids, good luck. It's Mom. I'm here.' Well, I can't do that. What am I supposed to do, huh? Am I supposed to just put my feet up at the end of the day and say to myself, 'Well, you know, they're on their own and she says she's fine'? Well, you won't be... now I'm just a visitor [in your life] with a limited day pass."

I can honestly say I would not have understood where she was coming from prior to becoming a mother myself. I, like many others I know, can get frustrated when my mother or mother-in-law seems to be too involved or asking too many questions. I have wondered if they realized I (or Clay) was grown up and fully capable of taking care of myself, my husband, and now children. I criticized the mothers of my friends that just couldn't seem to cut those apron strings.

Oh, I am beginning to understand.

Mothers pour their lives into their children. We sacrifice sleep, warm meals, time, and energy to care for these precious gifts God gives. We long to teach them to be independent, but want to spare them any unnecessary hurt or pain. We desire for them to choose wisely so they can avoid repeating our mistakes. We love unconditionally, and then we usher them out the door into a big, scary world.

I still have years before that day arrives in our home, but I can only imagine what that will be like. I got teary the first day I dropped the boy off at preschool for a mere 3 hours - HOURS! I can't imagine driving away from his dorm or watching him drive off with his bride. Neither of those events will change my love for my children or my desire to nurture them and protect them; yet, life requires that I loosen my hold. That begins even now.

I'm beginning to understand what my mom has been through. I'm beginning to understand why my mother-in-law worries about us so much. It's not that they think we can't do it or don't want us to be independent (I know they would much rather us be on our own than under their roof still dependent upon them), they simply love us...and every time they look at us, a myriad of memories surely floods their mind. They love us unconditionally and simply want to protect us from hurt and pain. Time has passed much too quickly, and I'm guessing they feel they might have missed some valuable moments.

I am thankful for my mom and Brenda who have daily done their best by me and Clay for over 30 years. They are not perfect, but I know without question they have given all they know how to give to their children.

Now I fall on my face before God begging Him to use me to love, teach, encourage, discipline, and challenge my handsome little man and two little princesses.

A mother's love - it is an impossible love...one that can only be done through the grace of God.