Glad blogging isn't my job or I should most definitely be fired. I'm amazed at how things so easily fall to the wayside with the busyness of 3 kids. I'd like to say it's because my house is cleaned once a week, the pantry is always stocked, and my kids are learning this and that; but it isn't. Currently a good portion of my house is clean, but that's thanks to a stomach bug that decided to visit. (So far it's gotten 4 out of 5...and I'm hoping for no repeat appearances.) So many days I find myself doing the same thing I was doing the day before wondering if I'm in some horrible Groundhog Day remake. I will say child #3 is giving me a run for my money with her adventurous, no-fear personality, but she still takes 2 naps a day (thanks to being woken up each morning long before she would choose). God did recently bless me with a new job...scheduling for a local counselor...but that simply means I answer a phone when someone calls. No real excuses.
Honestly, I can think of a few reasons I'm not visiting frequently. One is simply that by the time I have time to sit and put my thoughts in writing, I'm exhausted. I'm shutting down for the day, and Clay is ready to play MafiaWars or MobWars or such on Facebook. Second is that posting pictures on Facebook is so stinkin' easy (most of the time). Lastly, the last couple of years have been tough (as many of you know). This calendar year has found me wrestling with a lot now that the journey continues ebbing and flowing. Not to mention God has been taking our church and my accountability group on a new journey that is stretching my foundation of faith in multiple ways. While I would love to flesh so much of that out in written form in an arena like this, part of me is fearful to do just that. Why? I want to protect the parties involved in the various aspects of this journey. I don't want to scare people into sending the men with the white jackets to our home. I am an external processor so often what comes out isn't where I finally land, and the route to get to where I'm okay often goes through muck and mire. My mom knows this well, as does my husband, but most everyone else has trouble truly understanding how I work. Sometimes I even scare myself. Just as much as protecting others, I don't always want proof of where I am at the moment - my lack of faith, my fear, my sadness, my hurt, etc. Some days I just want to return to "normal" - not that we ever were, but it sure feels like it was more normal than whatever it is that we are now. Those near us know, but those of you who keep up with us only via FB or the blog can be kept in the dark about the truth. So it's easier to just keep my keys quiet instead of laying my soul bare for all to see.
No guarantees of what is to come with the blog, but I do hope to get back to writing more. I miss it, and God has been showing me a lot this year that I would love to share. And there's always a ton to say about the 3 most beautiful children in the world.
Speaking of...here are a few recent pictures...
Honestly, I can think of a few reasons I'm not visiting frequently. One is simply that by the time I have time to sit and put my thoughts in writing, I'm exhausted. I'm shutting down for the day, and Clay is ready to play MafiaWars or MobWars or such on Facebook. Second is that posting pictures on Facebook is so stinkin' easy (most of the time). Lastly, the last couple of years have been tough (as many of you know). This calendar year has found me wrestling with a lot now that the journey continues ebbing and flowing. Not to mention God has been taking our church and my accountability group on a new journey that is stretching my foundation of faith in multiple ways. While I would love to flesh so much of that out in written form in an arena like this, part of me is fearful to do just that. Why? I want to protect the parties involved in the various aspects of this journey. I don't want to scare people into sending the men with the white jackets to our home. I am an external processor so often what comes out isn't where I finally land, and the route to get to where I'm okay often goes through muck and mire. My mom knows this well, as does my husband, but most everyone else has trouble truly understanding how I work. Sometimes I even scare myself. Just as much as protecting others, I don't always want proof of where I am at the moment - my lack of faith, my fear, my sadness, my hurt, etc. Some days I just want to return to "normal" - not that we ever were, but it sure feels like it was more normal than whatever it is that we are now. Those near us know, but those of you who keep up with us only via FB or the blog can be kept in the dark about the truth. So it's easier to just keep my keys quiet instead of laying my soul bare for all to see.
No guarantees of what is to come with the blog, but I do hope to get back to writing more. I miss it, and God has been showing me a lot this year that I would love to share. And there's always a ton to say about the 3 most beautiful children in the world.
Speaking of...here are a few recent pictures...
Miss McK (now 14 months old) - growing up way too fast!
The Big Man (now 5, and LOVING kindergarten) showing one of his little buddies how to race cars.
Little Bit (as we often call her), now 3 1/2, with one of her best buds. She's still wee!
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