Musings

It's been a good day. It started earlier than I desired, but they pretty much all do these days. I got busy after getting the kids settled with breakfast. I don't know why I don't do that more often; it always makes me feel better about the day. Grannylou came over to play with the kids while I helped at our church's health fair (Clay was mowing yards with my dad), but I wasn't gone all that long. I hadn't volunteered for a particular area because I didn't know for sure I would have childcare, and they didn't need my help. The kids ate lunch and then we all rested - what a nice Saturday treat! I worked a little more on cleaning out the girls' closet to get ready for our new arrival before we headed to swim with friends. It was fun watching our kids enjoy the water. The girl has become quite the fish (thanks to Aunt Claire coaxing her into the water last weekend), and she spent a lot of the time jumping in to her daddy. The boy split time jumping in (finally doing it without holding someone's hand) and swimming around. It's a good thing they love the water since it's so hot here - heat index today was 108!!! We headed back to our friends' home for dinner and more water time in their kiddie pool. Others joined us for a grand ol' time. Now the kids are in bed, Clay is back out hanging with some guys, and I'm enjoying the quiet.

I've reached that point in pregnancy that I'm ready to meet this little gal (M). Clay and I had a special moment last night as she became quite active once I laid down. Her movements are so different than the boy (J) and the girl (E). They seem to be calmer, more of a sweeping motion than a kick or punch. I sat in church last week with my arms laid across the top of my belly; and for about 5 minutes she just ran some appendage back and forth across my arm. I love that connection. It is my favorite part of pregnancy, and this time I find myself more sentimental about it. Perhaps because it's been a couple of years or perhaps because I know this could be my last time to experience this joy. I do not desire to rush her coming. I long for her to be healthy, but I'm ready for it to be late July knowing her arrival could be at any time. I'm ready to hold her, study her, nurse her, cuddle her, and just have her in my arms. There is much to do between now and then - celebrate J's 4th birthday, celebrate the 4th of July, celebrate my niece's 9th birthday, celebrate Lauren's 3rd birthday, clean out closets, wash baby clothes, get out all the baby equipment, help Clay as he begins his new career, and simply enjoy the summer. I do not wish to rush through these events, but I am so anxious to hold my littlest gal. I wonder if these feelings aren't intensified by the number of people I know that haven't had that joy in the last year or two. They were expecting joyful bundles, but for one reason or another those bundles never breathed their first breath or they breathed far too few for one little life. I've found it interesting that I've worried more about this child than I did my other two. I would have thought I would have been a wreck when I was pregnant with J, but I wasn't. In my naivety, I couldn't fathom God asking to me to walk that road after waiting so long for a child (but I know those whom He has asked to walk such a road). I was so in shock about being pregnant with E that I don't think I thought about losing her, but this time is different. I was so thankful for our 20 week sonogram that showed M healthy and growing right on schedule. I am thankful for every movement that reminds me she is still with us. I treasure hearing her heartbeat unlike I did with the other two. I seem to be more aware of the preciousness of the gifts God has given me this time around.

I am just so ready to meet her.

I love her already... 8 weeks and counting... I know having three kids ages 4 and under will be insanity at times, but I am ready. I am ready for our family to be all together. I am ready for the challenges, the joys, the tears, and the laughter. My heart overflows that I am getting to walk this road all over again...