A bit of randomness

I think I've started about 7 posts in my head over the last several days, but nothing is really coming together as I sit here now. Here's a snippet of a few of them...

I wanted to post a picture of the girl and share about my daily reality of raising myself. It has been quite enlightening for me to see myself through her. There are a lot of differences, but she is only about to cross the 20 month mark so some of those things could change. (I'm thinking specifically about the fact that she doesn't like having anything in her hair. I, however, was very particular about my hair "requesting" my mom redo it until the part was perfect. Poor girl looks like such a ragga muffin all the time - and she has so much hair to do cute things with!)


I tell ya, every time we're with my dad he just laughs because he feels like he's stepped back 30 years. I have apologized to my mom countless times since the girl arrived now understanding what she had to put up with. Some days I'm amazed they didn't harm me!






One day I wanted to vent (of sorts) about the challenges of raising these two strong-willed, spirited children. I know I am not the first nor will I be the last; but I've never done this before and some days it kicks my butt! I have been reminded to be thankful for their persistence, their strong-will, and their drive. My prayer is that God will give me wisdom and discernment on how to mold them into lovers and followers of Christ. God could use them in mighty ways if only they will submit to Him. I also pray they learn some life lessons early so they aren't learning them AGAIN as they raise their own children. It's the running joke that we don't know where the kids got their personalities from... and poor Clay keeps wondering why he's being punished for my past sins!


This afternoon on the way home from playing with some friends, I was struck again by how I keep changing as I age. I might have mentioned this before, but I used to be little miss social butterfly. I loved being around people and flourished better in large crowds than small, intimate settings. I was energized by meeting new folks and hob-knobbing with various people. I don't know if it's age, kids, or Clay rubbing off on me, but I am quite the opposite now. I spent not even 2 hours with these friends and their kids today and was exhausted. It felt good to be home - where I was all day yesterday. Guess I'm becoming a bit of a homebody. Not totally. I long for connection with others and getting out, but I find I'd much prefer one-on-one. Vacation was great, but I found myself longing for more intimate conversations. I rarely "work the room" at church (as one of my friends used to say I was good at) anymore. I find it interesting that I used to shy away from the intimacy of close friendships, and yet now I feel more comfortable in that setting than a big social gathering that is simply surface talk. Guess I have need for depth and realness that often fails to appear at such events. Random, I know, but just something that struck me again today.

And lastly, I wanted to post the chorus to a song we sang yesterday at church by Lincoln Brewster. It really struck a chord with me:

In You, in You I find my peace
In You, in You I find my strength
In You, I live and move and breathe
Let everything I say and do
Be founded by my faith in You