Facebook vent

Yeah, not as big of a fan of Facebook as I thought I might be. Sure, I've "reconnected" with lots of people, but I guess I've only truly connected with a few of them. It has been fun to see who has kids, who got married, what people are doing and where they ended up, but part of it has been heartbreaking too. I've learned about heartaches experienced and those who have turned away from the faith they once possessed. I've learned some people are living their dreams and some have fared much better than I anticipated they would from what I knew about them in high school. I must admit the flair and bumper stickers are quite funny, but I don't get the excitement of all the games or quizzes. But for the laughs I've had with flair or the few messages/chats I've had with people, I think I'm becoming a bit paranoid. I've become "friends" with people that I still haven't "talked" to. A few people I've sent messages to or what not haven't written back. If you don't want to talk to me, why did you make me your "friend"? And there have been several times I've started a chat with someone who promptly logs off. Makes me wonder. And there's one poor guy that I asked to be my friend because I thought he was someone else. Now I don't have the heart to tell him I really don't know him - and he probably accepted me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings in the first place. I've found myself "caring" about people's status - I mean, really? I've started to change mine a few times, but I figure I am not really that important that others would care that my kids are sleeping or that I am cleaning house or wasting time or whatever. I hated being talked about in junior high and high school (and college too), and in some ways this just feels like stepping back to that. I guess the difference is that now each participant is sharing only what he/she wants to share. But I wonder how much of it is true. I mean, while I may "know" the people listed as my friends, most of them truly know little about who I've become as an adult or the life I'm living right now - and I know little about them or theirs. I could put whatever I wanted to and most would believe it. I could leave out details I don't want others to know. I'm not quite as selective here, but I also don't lay it all out. So we could all be painting unrealistic pictures of our lives hiding behind the veil of technology. I would like to think most aren't, but I know Clay and I didn't admit how horrible our second year of marriage was while we were in it. We can talk about it now (and joke) because we made it through and came out stronger for it; but that wasn't what others saw/heard from us during that time. And that's not the only time in my life I've hidden behind walls. Technology makes it so easy, doesn't it?

Now I've gone and gotten on another soapbox. I just needed to vent my frustrations for getting so wrapped up in being in the know about other people. It's a downfall for me, and I should have known better. I won't delete my account because there are a couple of people I connected with there that I want to stay connected to, but I'm thinking I'll bow out of the insanity of daily logins. Now let's see if I can stick to my guns!