A first - at least since 2/14

Clay and I had our first "date" last night since adding a fourth member to our family. This was truly the first time we've had without the kids not counting church, but we are kind of busy during that time! Since Clay's family is coming next weekend and offered us a date night, we chose to simply grab dinner (yummy Quizno's) and rent a movie. It was nice to relax at home and be able to eat dinner at the same time at a leisurely pace. I fought the urge to do things around the house, but I managed to simply relax on the couch. The movie was awful in our opinion (Flags of Our Fathers), but that is par for the course when I pick the movie.

Of course the kids did great-only increasing my sister's disbelief of how fussy E can be. J played great with his cousins and had no trouble going to sleep. This was the first night we've tried just putting him down on a toddler mattress in my parents' room - this means all four kids have a place to sleep without us having to take a pack 'n play or anything! YEAH! And of course, both kids had trouble sleeping once we got home...but I'll take it for a few hours of being able to focus on my husband and my marriage. I'm looking forward to next weekend when we'll actually go out. We are blessed to have family that wants to give us time away as a couple...and we are better for it!

New technology?

So, I know windshield wipers are to clear the water off your windshield; however, today I began to question if new technology exists in them. The man in the small SUV in front of me on the way home had both his front and back wipers going at a pretty fast speed. There was no rain, but heavy wind. The wipers ran the entire time I was behind him so he wasn't just cleaning his windshield. Is there something I have missed along the way about what wipers will do? Please someone fill me in!

(For those who can't "hear" the sarcasm in this, please re-read with just such a tone!)

More than survival...actual enjoyment

Well, for those who were worried, we more than survived the time without the TV...I actually enjoyed the quietness of yesterday. The kids slept in so we only had time to get ready and eat breakfast before heading to playgroup. Home for lunch and nap time...I got a good 1+ hour snooze myself. I wondered how the afternoon would go, but J didn't even seem to notice the box wasn't talking. He played hard with his toys and we read some good books. He even played well while I fed E which is usually a tricky time. Then the boys went to a friend's house so Clay could watch the ballgame (sadly, State lost by one point thanks to a 3-pointer at the buzzer), and I was off to accountability group. We went an entire day only watching one Veggie Tales DVD! The satellite got fixed first thing this morning, and J got to watch one of his favorite shows before we headed to story time at the library. He was so excited to see Blue and Sprinkles!

Yesterday was a nice change of pace, and it has prompted a change in how I approached today. I didn't realize how much I use TV as a way to pacify J (and myself) as I deal with a colicky little girl. I haven't even turned it on since we've been home...and that is amazing since it is usually just background noise. A new day dawns...hopefully I will make it last!

A second blog

Well, in light of my last novel (see post below - and note there are pictures below that!), I decided it might be time to create a second blog. Just thought I would share will be for family updates and pictures. The new blog will be for my thoughts and lessons learned as I am on my way to being more like Christ. I put a link at the top of my Places I Like to Visit so you can always have easy access... but for now you can simply click on the address below to go to Forgiven, and on my way
http://kkskipper2.blogspot.com

Transformation

You would think I would be relishing sitting in a quiet house this evening; but, alas, I find it quite intimidating. Both children are currently sleeping (but that shouldn't last too much longer as feeding time is approaching), my husband is meeting with his accountability partner, and our satellite is broken. It is truly quiet here. Lately, I seek out moments like this during often harried days. J is getting closer to being two so his desire to exert his independence and opinion continues to increase thus raising the number of battles we experience. Most anyone would say E is colicky based on the hours and intensity of crying we often get to hear (she does have a great set of lungs and endurance - on the up side). And sadly, the TV is usually on as background noise or a way to escape. But when the satellite went out this afternoon and I learned that we have to wait on a technician to assess the problem (that won't be until Wednesday morning), I became frantic...sadly revealing my dependence upon the big box in our living room (or the smaller one in the bedroom) to entertain and escape. What would I do tonight after Clay left? How will I get a shower tomorrow (I occupy J with a show so I know he won't get into something shouldn't)? We'll miss our beloved 24! Clay won't be able to watch the game tomorrow night! Wednesday...what will we do? Just this afternoon I was thinking about how I don't have time to read anymore, and now given that chance it is not what I want to do. I've filled the silence with a phone conversation and perusing the Internet.

For some reason, the silence scares me tonight. My guess? God has been speaking loudly to me about being transformed and seeking holiness. He has been frank about the masks I wear and how I often live each day out of what I think will please others. The silence brings conviction and forces me to look in the mirror. I don't like what was revealed about my heart today through the satellite situation. I don't like the fear I see inside that others may find out I am not what they think I am - my house isn't perfectly clean, I have junk drawers, and a thousand projects uncompleted - and that's just the tip of the iceberg. What if they learned how I battle being judgmental? What if they learn about my pride? What if they learn about the grudges I still hold on to? What if they learn how shallow my quiet times can be? What if they learn how well I throw a pity party? What if they learn about the dichotomy that exists inside my soul? What if they learn how frustrated I can get with E's crying? The silence pushes me to tackle these questions and others - about what I really believe about God, about my lack of faith, and about why I am not living from my heart.

I am a new creation in Christ. The old is gone. The new has come. But have I really been transformed? Doubtful. I've made some cosmetic changes over the years and I always know what I should say/do to appear to be godly; but I don't know how much of my heart and mind I have truly given over to be transformed. As John Eldredge writes so well about, transformation is what draws us to the story of Beauty and the Beast, the Ugly Duckling, and the Wizard of Oz. "A creature that no one could bear to look upon is transformed into a handsome prince. That which was dark and ugly is now glorious and good...They are all transformed into the very thing they never thought they could be...Is it not the most beautiful outcome of any story to be written? Perhaps that is because it is the deepest yearning of the human heart...Why is [transformation] an essential part of any great story? Because it is the secret to Christianity, and Christianity is the secret to the universe." "You must be born again (John 3:7). You must be transformed. Keeping the Law, following the rules, polishing up your manners - none of that will do." And yet, that is what I have been doing for years. And that is the problem - as Eldredge states. We still believe that our hearts are wicked even though we have placed our hope in Christ - and that is a misdiagnosis. "And so long as we believe that our hearts remain untouched, unchanged, we will pretty much lived untouched and unchanged. For our heart is the wellspring of life within us." And unlike the Beast, we must be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This is an ongoing action not a one time *SHAZAM*. This means I need to dive into God's Word and chew on it. Not just swallow it whole, but taste every morsel and let it truly soak into my heart, mind, and soul. I one day want to be that which I never thought I could be. I will never experience that to its fullness here on earth, but each day I can take a step or two closer as I become more and more like Him.

This means I need to let go of my agenda. I need to stop worrying so much about pleasing others. I need to stop obsessing over whether you will approve of my choices. I need to stop comparing myself, my life, and my kids with those around me. I need to stop rationalizing my decisions to those around me. I need to stop reliving mistakes and seeking reassurance of forgiveness already granted. And the list goes on...

Transformation. Holiness. I want these to be the desire of my heart. That means I need to spend a lot more time in the silence. That scares me a bit, honestly. I know I won't always like what I find there, but I long to be like Him...and He is holy.

Cheering on our dawgs

Here our my boys dressed in THE colors ready to cheer on our dawgs last Tuesday night in the NIT tourney. MSU is making its first ever appearance in the NIT Semifinals in New York tomorrow night. Once again I will make sure we are all dressed appropriately - cow bell in hand. Can I get a MAROON....WHITE...MAROON...WHITE...?

GO DAWGS!!!

Bye-bye...mmuah!

This past week J added to his nap/bedtime routine. He almost runs to his bed, crawls up, and waits for us to help him lie down. Then he tells us bye-bye and blows us kisses - which is really him just putting his hand to his mouth and making a "mmm" sound. It just melts your heart as he continues to tell you bye-bye and blow kisses as you walk out of the room.

He also does this when someone else leaves or he leaves some place. He even says bye-bye as I buckle him in his car seat. This routine helps his separation as well - at least when one of us leaves the house. We still need work on leaving him someplace else, but we're thankful for the small steps.

Plumping up

We had a small photo session here at the house during J's naptime. Today is a day that I could just eat her up. She looks so cute in this outfit - and the pictures don't truly capture it. Like her brother, E is starting to plump up. It was between 2-8 weeks that it seemed like someone pulled J's rip cord. It looks like E is on track to follow in his footsteps. She is getting some cheeks, and her arms and legs are getting squishy. I just love it. It makes this mama's heart swell to know her girl is healthy and growing. We are getting into a rhythm, and I've even ventured out alone several times with both kids. Today is a day I am overwhelmed with God's blessings. His heart overflows with love for us, and He longs to give us good gifts as it says in James. He has given us the desire of our hearts, and I am humbled that He loves me like He does.

Aye, matey!

Dressed for church

Sunday was our second Sunday at church as an entire family. The week before I was just glad we all made it in time for Clay to be an usher - so no pictures were taken. This week was much better so we had time for a few pictures.

Isn't she cute? Clay took one look at her and knew he is in trouble!















Not a great picture of his face, but those are hard to come by these days. Doesn't he look quite studly in his golf shirt and sandals? I had to include the picture of him showing his head. It also gives an idea of his haircut...he even had mousse in his hair!

Catching up

We've had an eventful week - J got a "big boy" haircut last Friday. They used clippers and gel...he's growing up so fast! I don't have a picture yet, but I hope to get one soon. J is also doing well with counting to ten and saying the alphabet. I'm not sure many people believe us since he isn't much of a performer, but we are quite amazed - especially since he ALWAYS does X, Y, and Z! What kid gets those letters first?

Sunday was our first day as a full family at church. E did great and was loved on by many. We'll probably keep her with us one more week in service and LifeGroup before braving the nursery. There are just so many new babies - and there are almost a handful more due before 2007 is over! We are growing our church one way or another. One gal says the young couples need to get a new hobby!

Monday was probably the most challenging day I've had with both kids (excluding the illness days). They both seemed to need me at all times. I knew days like this would happen, and I think I held it together fairly well (only a few tears). I was definitely glad when Clay got home and VERY THANKFUL that a meal was provided for that night. Fortunately, we get to close our eyes each night anticipating tomorrow to be a better day...and it was. Little did I know Tuesday would be the calm before the storm.

Early Wednesday morning (like 4:00 a.m.), I found J lying in his vomit - talk about guilt! The next 24-36 hours are pretty much a blur filled with high fever, baths, cleaning up throw up, trying to keep J hydrated, nursing E, changing diapers, holding a crying child, the Backyardigans, Blue's Clues, and dozing here and there. We've now been fever free for 24 hours and J was not as needy today. Yesterday he wanted someone touching him at all times - thankfully my mom was able to lend a helping hand so Clay only missed one day of work. I lifted many prayers of thanks to God that He has allowed us to live in town with family during this season of life and that they have the availability to help us out as they do (yeah for being your own boss!). I am also very thankful that the other three of us avoided getting sick.

I feel like we are back among the land of the living so I thought I would take some time to post a few pictures. I hope you enjoy!

Last week I attempted to get a picture of both kids, but as you can see J wasn't too cooperative. He still isn't too sure about his sister so getting him to sit still beside her wasn't happening without another set of hands. Hopefully soon we'll capture them together, but it may be a while before we have any of him loving on her!


Many people say E looks like me. I thought she looked like my hospital picture when they first handed her to me, but I haven't seen it again until I saw the picture on the left. I'll be intrigued to see how she continues to change and who she ends up looking like. And I finally caught her not making a funny face in the picture on the right.








We think she inherited her notion for sticking out her tongue from her Grandaddy (Clay's dad) and her yawning from Grannylou (my mother)




You gotta love this hair! The picture doesn't do it justice, but it stands up off her head. Clay has already had fun putting it in a mohawk and such...ah, the fun to be had!

Illness hits

I apologize for my silence...it was an off-Friday weekend so we had fun as a family that I need to share, and then Monday was a challenge after little sleep the night before and two needy children all day. Tuesday I played a bit of catch up and then J got hit by a stomach bug while he slept that night. We've been in survival mode since then, but we now appear to be on the mend. We've even seen a smile. I just had a moment, but I wanted to let you know we are okay just recovering from illness. I'll post more once we get a bit better...

One of those moments

I had one of those moments today - two of them actually - where I looked at my little boy and saw that he isn't so little. He woke up early today, and I wasn't ready for the day to begin after only getting about 4.5 hours of sleep total last night. I freed him from his room and gave him the treat of watching Blue's Clues in my bed while I hoped to doze a few more minutes. Then it happened - he was leaning back on the pillows much like his father and I often do. All of the sudden, he wasn't a baby anymore. Later this morning it happened again while he was sitting on the floor - it was all about how he was sitting and it's hard to paint the picture in words. He looked like such a little boy - not a baby. He's 20 months old now...before long we stop counting in months.

I know these won't be the last moments I am caught off-guard with how grown up he is. First day of school, driving, dating, his wedding, when he makes me a grandmother...and many other small moments along the way. I just pray I don't overlook each and every moment...for each is a treasure.

Playing hard

J's been playing hard over the last week. His tendency toward physical activity has definitely increased. He loves to run around, climb on people and things, turn himself in circles until he almost can't stand, and bend himself in half. He gets such a kick out of this and I finally caught it on camera!








J still loves the camera - often stopping to "pose" when I'm trying to catch him in the act of something adorable. He has also taken a liking to the physical camera wanting to grab it and such...thus the lighting in the picture on the left - his hand covered the flash just as it went off. And there is nothing like his smile of pure delight!








He loves this new "hat"...but he much prefers it on someone else's head








He loves being thrown in the air...and is starting to "fight back"